This is the ceremonies section of the site. Here we post ceremonies that were either written by our ministers or at least put together by them from standard ceremonies. We have wedding ceremonies, funerals, Pagan ceremonies and 'other'. If you're looking for a ceremony, this is a great place to find something new. Our ministers are the best at writing creative ceremonies and I'm glad to be able to share them. If you've written a ceremony that you'd like to see here, please send it to ceremonies@ulcseminary.org.
You are welcome to use any of the ceremonies you find here and adjust them to suit your own specific ceremony needs. If you need additional ceremonies, you can find books in our store, including Weddings, Funerals and Rites of Passage, as well as The Ultimate Wedding & Ceremony Workbook for the 'Planning-Impaired'. Both have a wonderful selection of ceremonies for your use. You can find these by going to our Church Store.
Some of the ceremonies listed here are included in the new volume of ceremonies, More Weddings, Funerals and Rites of Passage, along with some other interesting and unusual ceremonies. Since ceremonies are a mainstay of most minister's work, having the right materials and words for ceremonies are very important. We hope that you will find what you need here and that you might also submit some ceremonies here of your own to be posted.
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Universal Life Church I had to share this...
Beautiful story.... makes you understand that things happen for a reason!
The brand new pastor and his wife, newly assigned to their first ministry, to reopen a church in suburban Brooklyn, arrived in early October excited about their opportunities. When they saw their church, it was very run down and needed much work. They set a goal to have everything done in time to have their first service on Christmas Eve. They worked hard, repairing pews, plastering walls, painting, etc, and on December 18 were ahead of schedule and just about finished. On December 19 a terrible tempest - a driving rainstorm hit the area and lasted for two days. On the 21st, the pastor went over to the church. His heart sank when he saw that the roof had leaked, causing a large area of plaster about
20 feet by 8 feet to fall off the front wall of the sanctuary just behind the pulpit, beginning about head high. The pastor cleaned up the mess on the floor
and not knowing what else to do but postpone the Christmas Eve service, headed home. On the way he noticed that a local business was having a flea market type sale for charity so he stopped in. One of the items was a beautiful,
handmade, ivory colored, crocheted tablecloth with exquisite work, fine colors and a Cross embroidered right in the center. It was just the right size to cover up the hole in the front wall. He bought it and headed back to the church. By this time it had started to snow. An older woman running from the opposite direction was trying to catch the bus. She missed it. The pastor invited her to wait in the warm church for the next bus 45 minutes later. She sat in a pew and paid no attention to the pastor while he got a ladder, hangers, etc., to put up the tablecloth as a wall tapestry. The pastor could hardly believe how beautiful it looked and it covered up the entire problem area. Then he noticed the woman walking down the center aisle. Her face was like a sheet. "Pastor," she asked, "where did you get that tablecloth?" The pastor explained. The woman asked him to check the lower right corner to see if the initials, EBG were crocheted
into it there. They were. These were the initials of the woman, and she had made this tablecloth 35 years before, in Austria. The woman could hardly believe it as the pastor told how he had just gotten the tablecloth. The woman explained that before the war she and her husband were well-to-do people in Austria. When the Nazis came, she was forced to leave. Her husband was going to follow her the next week. He was captured, sent to prison and never saw her husband or her home again. The pastor wanted to give her the tablecloth, but she made the pastor keep it for the church. The pastor insisted on driving her home; that was the least he could do. She lived on the other side of Staten Island and was only in Brooklyn for the day for a housecleaning job. What a wonderful service they had on Christmas Eve. The church was almost full. The music and the spirit were great. At the end of the service, the pastor and his wife greeted everyone at the door and many said that they would return. One older man, whom the pastor recognized from the neighborhood continued to sit in one of the pews and stare, and the pastor wondered why he wasn't leaving. The man asked him where he got the tablecloth on the front wall because it was identical to one that his wife had made years ago when they lived in Austria before the war and how could there be two tablecloths so much alike. He told the pastor how the Nazis came, how he forced his wife to flee for her safety and he was
supposed to follow her, but he was arrested and put in a prison. He never saw his wife or his home again all the 35 years in between. The pastor asked him if he would allow him to take him for a little ride. They drove to Staten Island and to the same house where the pastor had taken the woman three days earlier.
He helped the man climb the three flights of stairs to the woman's apartment, knocked on the door and he saw the greatest Christmas reunion he could ever imagine. True Story - submitted by Pastor Rob Reid Who says God does not work in mysterious ways. I asked the Lord to bless you as I prayed for you today, to guide you and protect you as you go along your way. His love is always with you, His promises are true, and when we give Him all our cares you know He will see us through. So when the road you're traveling on seems difficult at best. Just remember I'm here praying and God will do the rest. When there is nothing left but God; that is when
you find out that God is all you need.
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Universal Life Church This fundamentalist Christian couple felt it important to own an equally fundamentally Christian pet. So, they went shopping. At a kennel specializing in this particular breed, they found a dog they liked quite a lot. When they asked the dog to fetch the Bible, he did it in a flash. When they instructed him to look up Psalm 23, he complied equally fast, using his paws with dexterity.
They were impressed, purchased the animal, and went home (piously, of course). That night they had friends over. They were so proud of their new fundamentalist dog and his major skills, they called the dog and showed off a little. The friends were impressed, and asked whether the dog was able to do any of the usual dog tricks, as well. This stopped the couple cold, as they hadn't thought about 'normal' tricks.
"Well," they said, "let's try this out."
Once more they called out to the dog, and then clearly pronounced the command, "Heel!"
Quick as a wink, the dog jumped up, put his paw on the man's forehead, closed his eyes in concentration, and bowed his head.
*****************************************************************************************************Ordain yourself with the Universal Life Church, for Free, for Life, right now, use the Free Online Ordination, button -- Click the link!As a longtime member of ULC, we created the seminary site to help train our ministers and our site has created a great ULC Forum. We also have a huge catalog of Universal Life Church materials and some outstanding online seminary courses. As an ordained minister with the Universal Life Church for many years and it's Seminary since the beginning, I've enjoyed watching the continual growth of the seminary.
Universal Life Church Testimony of Rev. Rickey Todd Phillips.
I was a drunk and I could not stop. I got so bad I would pass out in my chair and wet my paints. I drank every day. I tried to stop; I even tried A.A. to no avail. It was one week until my daughter was born. I knew I had no where to turn. Then I went to church. I met a minister named Milt Mitchner, (Assemblies’of God). I looked at him with tears in my eyes and said, “I want what you have and you are going to help me get it.” Well I started church and attended bible studies and then God drew me to the Salvation Army. I moved up the ranks to Corps Sergeant Major, the highest local office of the non-commissioned officers. I preached and my wife and I ran the church and food bank while the officers were away. I also was a guest speaker at another Salvation Army. My wife’s health was bad so we moved to Boise , Idaho . They had better health care then they did in Alaska . I was a meat cutter for Albertsons and they did not let me have Sundays off. Well I was not in the word and went a little haywire. Then we moved to Reno because my wife’s mother was sick and I still worked for Albertsons as a meat cutter. Six years later I hold a diploma from The Voice of Prophecy “Discover Bible Course” -- A diploma from The Voice of Prophecy “Focus on Prophecy Bible Course”—“Pastoral Diploma” from The Cathedral University. I was ordained by the Universal Life Church on Jan. 23, 2007. And now I was promoted to meat manager. God is Faithful Amen !!! Jesus is my belief system. When the Son sets you free you are free indeed!!!
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Universal Life Church
Universal Life Church
There's this guy who had been lost and walking in the desert for about 2 weeks. One hot day, he sees the home of a missionary. Tired and weak, he crawls up to the house and collapses on the doorstep. The missionary finds him and nurses him back to health. Feeling better, the man asks the missionary for directions to the nearest town. On his way out the backdoor, he sees this horse. He goes back into the house and asks the missionary, "Could I borrow your horse and give it back when I reach the town?"The missionary says, "Sure but there is a special thing about this horse. You have to say 'Thank God' to make it go and 'Amen' to make it stop."
Not paying much attetion, the man says, "Sure, ok."
So he gets on the horse and says, "Thank God" and the horse starts walking. Then he says, "Thank God, thank God," and the horse starts trotting. Feeling really brave, the man says, "Thank God, thank God, thank God, thank God, thank God" and the horse just takes off. Pretty soon he sees this cliff coming up and he's doing everything he can to make the horse stop.
"Whoa, stop, hold on!!!!"
Finally he remembers, "Amen!!"
The horse stops 4 inches from the cliff. Then the man leans back in the saddle and says, "Thank God."
*******************************************************************************************Ordain yourself with the Universal Life Church, for Free, for Life, right now, use the Free Online Ordination, button -- Click the link!As a longtime member of ULC, we created the seminary site to help train our ministers and our site has created a great ULC Forum. We also have a huge catalog of Universal Life Church materials and some outstanding online seminary courses. As an ordained minister with the Universal Life Church for many years and it's Seminary since the beginning, I've enjoyed watching the continual growth of the seminary.
Universal Life Church
Universal Life Church
MICROSOFT Bids to Acquire Catholic Church
By Hank Vorjes
VATICAN CITY (AP) -- In a joint press conference in St. Peter's Square this morning, MICROSOFT Corp. and the Vatican announced that the Redmond software giant will acquire the Roman Catholic Church in exchange for an unspecified number of shares of MICROSOFT common stock. If the deal goes through, it will be the first time a computer software company has acquired a major world religion.
With the acquisition, Pope John Paul II will become the senior vice-president of the combined company's new Religious Software Division, while MICROSOFT senior vice-presidents Michael Maples and Steven Ballmer will be invested in the College of Cardinals, said MICROSOFT Chairman Bill Gates.
"We expect a lot of growth in the religious market in the next five to ten years," said Gates. "The combined resources of MICROSOFT and the Catholic Church will allow us to make religion easier and more fun for a broader range of people."
Through the MICROSOFT Network, the company's new on-line service, "we will make the sacraments available on-line for the first time" and revive the popular pre-Counter-Reformation practice of selling indulgences, said Gates. "You can get Communion, confess your sins, receive absolution -- even reduce your time in Purgatory -- all without leaving your home."
A new software application, MICROSOFT Church, will include a macro language which you can program to download heavenly graces automatically while you are away from your computer.
An estimated 17,000 people attended the announcement in St Peter's Square, watching on a 60-foot screen as comedian Don Novello -- in character as Father Guido Sarducci -- hosted the event, which was broadcast by satellite to 700 sites worldwide.
Pope John Paul II said little during the announcement. When Novello chided Gates, "Now I guess you get to wear one of these pointy hats," the crowd roared, but the pontiff's smile seemed strained.
The deal grants MICROSOFT exclusive electronic rights to the Bible and the Vatican's prized art collection, which includes works by such masters as Michelangelo and Da Vinci. But critics say MICROSOFT will face stiff challenges if it attempts to limit competitors' access to these key intellectual properties.
"The Jewish people invented the look and feel of the holy scriptures," said Rabbi David Gottschalk of Philadelphia. "You take the parting of the Red Sea -- we had that thousands of years before the Catholics came on the scene."
But others argue that the Catholic and Jewish faiths both draw on a common Abrahamic heritage. "The Catholic Church has just been more successful in marketing it to a larger audience," notes Notre Dame theologian Father Kenneth Madigan. Over the last 2,000 years, the Catholic Church's market share has increased dramatically, while Judaism, which was the first to offer many of the concepts now touted by Christianity, lags behind.
Historically, the Church has a reputation as an aggressive competitor, leading crusades to pressure people to upgrade to Catholicism, and entering into exclusive licensing arrangements in various kingdoms whereby all subjects were instilled with Catholicism, whether or not they planned to use it. Today Christianity is available from several denominations, but the Catholic version is still the most widely used. The Church's mission is to reach "the four corners of the earth," echoing MICROSOFT's vision of "a computer on every desktop and in every home".
Gates described MICROSOFT's long-term strategy to develop a scalable religious architecture that will support all religions through emulation. A single core religion will be offered with a choice of interfaces according to the religion desired -- "One religion, a couple of different implementations," said Gates.
The MICROSOFT move could spark a wave of mergers and acquisitions, according to Herb Peters, a spokesman for the U.S. Southern Baptist Conference, as other churches scramble to strengthen their position in the increasingly competitive religious market.
**********************************************************************Ordain yourself with the Universal Life Church, for Free, for Life, right now, use the Free Online Ordination, button -- Click the link!
As a longtime member of ULC, we created the seminary site to help train our ministers and our site has created a great ULC Forum. We also have a huge catalog of Universal Life Church materials and some outstanding online seminary courses. As an ordained minister with the Universal Life Church for many years and it's Seminary since the beginning, I've enjoyed watching the continual growth of the seminary.
Universal Life Church I wanted to follow-up to my note of the 15th to which I attached the ministry newsletter, The Mid-Atlantic Lighthouse and better introduce myself and my work.I am a preacher's kid whose father had the wisdom to make me be certain that I was called into the ministry and not just following in his footsteps. Since 1982, I have pastored in five congregations, been a mission planter, served as a denominational executive and a state guard chaplain, and as a Bible college administrator and professor. At present, I am in the Civil Service in "tentmaking" mode. I have been traditionally ordained as well as simply ordained and hold credentials in the Universal Life Church.I would consider myself a compassionate conservative socially and conservative theologically (but not neanderthal!). My ministry today includes conducting weddings and funerals for those without a church connection. I also conduct a ministry of encouragement to other ministers - especially those who are called and elect simple ordination. I believe that ministry as a profession should be a level playing field. If your calling is sincere, then it doesn't matter how you got there.I commend you for the work you are doing at the Seminary. I'm not sure how I may be of service, but if there is something I could provide that would be useful, then I would be happy to help.I know the ULC covers the breadth of spirituality and I respect that. I embrace my spiritual path and do not denegrate others but encourage a mutual understanding and respect.Please feel free to correspond.
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Universal Life Church One afternoon a little boy was playing outdoors. He used his mother's broom as a horse and had a wonderful time until it was getting dark.
He left the broom on the back porch. His mother was cleaning up the kitchen when she realized that her broom was missing. She asked the little boy about the broom and he told her where it was.
She then asked him to please go get it. The little boy informed his mom that he was afraid of the dark and didn't want to go out to get the broom.
His mother smiled and said 'The Lord is out there too, don't be afraid'. The little boy opened the back door a little and said 'Lord if you're out there, hand me the broom'.
******************************************************************************************Ordain yourself with the Universal Life Church, for Free, for Life, right now, use the Free Online Ordination, button -- Click the link!As a longtime member of ULC, we created the seminary site to help train our ministers and our site has created a great ULC Forum. We also have a huge catalog of Universal Life Church materials and some outstanding online seminary courses. As an ordained minister with the Universal Life Church for many years and it's Seminary since the beginning, I've enjoyed watching the continual growth of the seminary.
Christian Cartoons
Christian cartoons for a change !!
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Little John the Baptist
Matt ..18:4-5
"Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
And who ever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me. "
Johnny 's Mother looked out the window and noticed him "playing church" with their cat.He had the cat sitting quietly and he was preaching to it. She smiled and went about her work. A while later she heard loud meowing and hissing and ran back To the open window to see Johnny baptizing the cat in a tub of water.
She called out, " Johnny , stop that! The cat is afraid of water!"Johnny looked up at her and said, "He should have thought about that before he joined my church."
and............Have a wonderful day
"It is a thousand times better to have common sense with-out education than to have education
Universal Life Church
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